So for the last nearly-three years, I've been in pharmacy school--which is a four-year professional doctorate program, and if I ever hear you asking why your thirty pills take twenty minutes to count out, or comparing me to that clerk who wouldn't scan the pork product, I will grind your face into my Retail Pharmacy FAQ using my big new high-heeled boots.

Which I got because it's really hard to feel like a badass when you're wearing a white coat that doesn't cover your ass.

Anyway, the first three years of pharmacy school are academic, which means we rot in windowless lecture halls for 4 or more hours a day. The last year is clinical, which means we get tossed upon the mercies of considerate pharmacists in local practice who teach us how to do what they do for four weeks. These months are called "rotations", and the selection thereof is this huge stressy debacle involving us picking out several sites and assigning priorities and the School of Pharmacy using some arcane algorithm that uses our rankings to churn out rotation assignments that are the least bad for the most people.

Proof of how much I have changed in the last three years: I am really, really excited about getting the insurance company.

Proof of how much I haven't: I am also pretty excited about getting the hippie-dippie independent "integrative" pharmacy.

The end is in sight.